Traction Control

Why do I run?

Theories abound.

"You're probably one of those health nuts."

I gulp fats and sugars like air.

I don't exactly avoid beer or bourbon, either.

"It's a vanity thing."

I'm ridiculously good-looking by nature.

"You're an addictive personality."

I'm compelling—but "addictive"?

Oh—and I don't run if I don't feel like running.

"It's therapy."

It really isn't.

"OK—so why DO you run?"

Because I enjoy it.

Period.

Don't—just...don't.